The Addams Family (1991)

Today, your friendly neighbourhood... some guy... decides to review something that came out before I was even born. Hey, I never said it would all be relevant...

The year is 1991. Curtains aren't just something that covers your windows, popular singer Ed Sheeran is just coming in to the world and I am still an accident two years from happening. Nice. Now you all have that horrifying image in your head, you're all set to read my thought on the hit movie, The Addams Family.

The Addams Family originated as a single panel cartoon by Charles Addams (ever the egotistical man) that ran in newspapers like 'The New York Times'. That's pretty much the extent of my knowledge on the series, other than being aware that there was a live-action sitcom in the 60s. I thought I'd try a review that I wasn't so maniacally embedded into the fanbase with.

Now the film begins with Christmas carols being sang in front of the wonderfully charismatic Addams mansion, before introducing some of the family members about to murder the singers. It was a great way to dig at the conventional family movie of the era and to set the tone of the entire movie to come. Combined with the ever-classic theme tune done in a beautiful orchestrated way, it instantly raises a smile, that for me didn't fade much at all. That's right. I'm not all bad scores and criticism.

The plot is fairly simple, but a very interesting one. It starts with the family getting ready for an annual tradition to contact the spirit of Fester, the main character Gomez's brother who he believes is dead. This leads a debt-ridden lawyer to start up a dastardly scheme involving his loan shark's son as a way to break in to the mansion's vault, as he bares a striking resemblance to the aforementioned deceased brother. Quite literally. His dead white skin and hunched back is a miracle of costume and makeup.

Doc Brown really went downhill after BttF...

It would have been very easy to have a loose plot that tied together the morbid jokes, but I felt like it gave way for development of characters that would have been otherwise overlooked. It leaves the gates open for (and I'm going to use this a lot in my reviews so watch out) heart. And heart is essential for a family movie like this, even the ones that involve taking the corpse of your Uncle out from a closet. Every scene involving Fester's imposter becoming more involved with the family is brilliant, and warming in an odd sort of way. As it slowly becomes apparent that it might in fact be the real Fester, you already feel like they've all known each other for years.

That leads me on rather nicely to the characters. They are all so supremely written it's incredible. Movies today rarely have such charming characters, let alone a 90s film based off a newspaper strip. For one thing, it has genuinely interesting and powerful female characters within it. The inner feminist in me wants to run up and squeeze the director tightly for such an incredible job, but it also makes me want to punch Mark Webb in the face again. Sorry, wrong time for Spider-Man.

Gomez and Morticia provides one of the most believable on-screen couples I've ever seen. Thinking back to being a child and watching this movie, I have to say it's the first time I've thought that I was really watching two people in love. Their kooky and over-the-top love scenes are hilarious and thoroughly enjoyable, and never for a moment over acted. In fact, I have to commend the great Raul Julia for his performance. In the way only he can, he portrayed Gomez as an articulate and deeply honourable man with some genuine flaws, especially given the scenes with Fester where he apologises for his foolishness as a teenager.

Given my previously aired gripes about child actors, Wednesday and Pugsley are done extremely well. Though Pugsley's role generally involves foolishly agreeing to his sisters every wish, he never over acts and his dimwitted character plays through. Wednesday is one of the stand-out performances of the movie. I've never seen a kid act so calmly and so... creepily. Her dead-pan delivered one liners are written amazingly and her portrayal definitely earned her more screen time in the sequel.

Wednesday's deadpan delivery was second-to-none.

Some of the background characters confuse me, mostly Cousin Itt and Thing, for they seem to be believable, likable characters without a line of (comprehensible) dialogue.  Thing in particularly is characterised only in one-way conversations and gestures, with remarkable CGI for the time. It's no wonder he was such a fan favourite.

I've briefly mentioned it already but every single set of this film is absolutely superb. It reeks of macabre whilst still maintaining a slightly comic feel that just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I'm not sure if it's nostalgia, but I find myself overcome with joy at every cobweb, creepy chandelier and dead looking thing etched on to the walls. I've never seen anything look out of place and manages to never feel overdone with set pieces. It's definitely the type of place you just want to be in, the mark of a truly great atmosphere.

To conclude, I bloody love this movie. When I sat down with my partner (who isn't a movie person by her own confession), even she had a grin of childish glee pasted across her face at every gag, every interaction between family members and every silk costume that Gomez Addams donned. I can't recommend this movie enough, it will brighten up anyone's day by throwing gothic nonsense at it.

Frosty Jack Review

Gather round, children

It seems like everyone in this business branches out and touches every form of social media known to man. As such, I have decided they must be on to something, so here we go:

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I'll keep these all up to date, and if I've missed out your favourite form of social website, then let me know. I'm telling you now though, there won't be a Google+ page. I think that was safely assumed though.

Oh, and one more thing, I've enabled comments even if you're not registered. Feed my insatiable appetite for human interaction!

Amazing Spider-Man (2012) - [SPOILERS]

I'm here today to let the world know a few things, okay? There seems to be a damaging stereotype that us British are extremely positive people. We are considered polite, well mannered and...

Wait... Sorry, I've been told that completely wrong. Apparently we're cynical bastards. Fair enough. Rather accurate.

Spider-Man. You've an image in your head right? If you do, there's a very good chance that was etched into your mind with the help of Sam Raimi's Spider-Man trilogy that crawled, climbed and leaped its way into cinemas throughout the last decade. Whilst the third movie was somewhat... controversial, the first two grabbed the hearts of the public and the scores from the critics. Aided by the X-Men films, it is generally accepted that the films shaped the formula for a modern comic book movie and completely revitalised the dying genre. Shame about Daredevil, that set it back a few years.

God DAMN you, Affleck.

But, as the trilogy ended with a whimper of a jammed firework rather than the bang everyone was expecting, Sony decided it was time to try again. The Amazing Spider-Man was announced, and it promised to deliver a fresh new experience that would establish a whole new trilogy. I'll admit, I was excited at first. I mean, I'm a massive Spider-Man fanboy, and I had watched the previous movies to death. I still leap on people who write Spider-Man without a hyphen. Still, the raving fanboy inside me had a few niggles with the older movies, particularly the characterisation of Spider-Man himself. Tobey portrayed an excellent Peter Parker, but his super alter-ego lacked the same juvenile humour and trademark irritating dialogue that helped him distract so many bad guys in the comic books. But, we were told this movie would draw a lot from the comic books. Peter's web shooters, his witty banter, the origins of his parents...

Hold on. His parents? A bead of sweat ran down my forehead. It was starting to sound a bit "gritty Hollywood reboot" to me. Batman style. Oh no. Not to Spider-Man. Not to this well-established comic book world of wonder and responsibility that was so keenly managed beforehand. And the trailers began to roll in, each one piecing together more of my fears. Peter was no longer a lovable nerd, but a hipster who in any high school in 2012 would have a small following of girls who want to be with him and boys who want to be him. Casting lists were uploaded, changed, cropped, added to. Characters emerged, and disappeared. No more Jameson. No more Harry. But I decided, I would reserve judgement. I would go to the cinema and experience what the director had envisioned. Not in 3D mind, I'm not paying an extra tenner for a headache.

Nerd? This guy would have countless followers on tumblr!

Credits roll. Goosebumps hit me. I am momentarily taken over by child-like glee. I'm seeing Spider-Man! I like Spider-Man! Pass me some more popcorn! And to be fair, the joy continued for a short while.The back story was well set up, with believable acting, even from a kid (which, let's be honest, is a rarity. Harry Potter 1, anybody?). Cutting forward to the pretty-boy teenager was a smooth one and to begin with, Andrew Garfield's interpretation of this awkward lovable nerd was cute. His lines were delivered well and his character well established. Gwen too shows off some fierceness, a well needed break from the spinning wheel of different emotions that was Kirsten Dunst's Mary Jane. As the story progressed, I felt like I could really feel the warm bond between Peter and his lovable Aunt and Uncle. In fact, I think Martin Sheen was the stand out performance of the whole movie, but being the character that he is, this was obviously going to be short lived. It's hard to maintain a good character when you're dead.

So far, so good with all the actors. Until we see this greasy, blonde British man who I'm meant to believe is Curt Connors. Now, this character is a personal favourite of mine, especially after the incredible "Spectacular Spider-Man" cartoons from a few years ago. But all traces of this character have been burned from the face of the Earth. Gone is the doting family man. Gone is his secret desire to fix his body. Instead, we have a shallow, one dimensional character who's personality aggressively shifts from scene to scene. His portrayal of the Lizard was, to be frank, laughable. Pure cliched drivel, from the moment he begins to record himself in his secret base about becoming "better than man" to his generic villain lines screeched at Parker, leaving no trace of humanity or... well anything to him.

It looks like he had a botched rhinoplasty job.

And this starts a trend. Gwen suffers from the fate of personality shifting as well, and it most definitely shows. The feisty blonde becomes awkward innocent teenager, and her intelligence ranges from science genius to rodent with a suicide wish as the movie carries on. Her relationship with Peter is such a missed shot, so flawed and unbelievable. After their 4 sentences of dialogue between each other and a horrible scene that's meant to constitute a "date", he tells the girl he barely knows his biggest secret. Bravo, Mr. Director. I've never actually felt genuine rage flow through my veins at a movie before.

The whole movie just collapses on itself as it progresses. Such a promising start leads to such a heart-crushing disappointment. The way Spider-Man is portrayed as an actual, creepy half-spider, half-man is just so bluntly wrong, and doesn't even flow well with (in my opinion, the highlight of the movie) the scene where he jokes around with a car thief. It's trying to get in too many versions of well known characters whilst trying to establish something new, and it just means that the whole thing falls flat on it's face. It's a shallow film that feels cold and distant, set in a city where nothing happens and inhabited by no-one. Every set feels tight and claustrophobic, the Lizard looked more like a mole, Norman Osborn as the head of an evil corporation was so cheesy and over-the-top, and as the movie carried on I just wanted to be sat on my backside at home watching Spider-Man 2 for the 32nd time.

To conclude, I'd have to say that, well, it's just not a movie worth seeing. There was so much potential, a wealth of history and characters to take from the comics, but in avoiding everything that the old trilogy was, all the film managed to do was side-step the magic that made the Sam Raimi films so likeable. And it's a damned shame. No film has left me feeling so sour in a long time. And I've seen X-Men: The Last Stand.